Book Review #11 We All Want Impossible Things by Catherine Newman 4/5

TW for cancer & grief

Edith and Ashley have been best friends for over forty-two years. They’ve shared the mundane and the momentous together: trick or treating and binge drinking; Gilligan’s Island reruns and REM concerts; hickeys and heartbreak; surprise Scottish wakes; marriages, infertility, and children. As Ash says, “Edi’s memory is like the back-up hard drive for mine.” 

But now the unthinkable has happened. Edi is dying of ovarian cancer and spending her last days at a hospice near Ash, who stumbles into heartbreak surrounded by her daughters, ex(ish) husband, dear friends, a poorly chosen lover (or two), and a rotating cast of beautifully, fleetingly human hospice characters.

As The Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack blasts all day long from the room next door, Edi and Ash reminisce, hold on, and try to let go. Meanwhile, Ash struggles with being an imperfect friend, wife, and parent—with life, in other words, distilled to its heartbreaking, joyful, and comedic essence.

This is a compact but packs a punch novel that left me reflecting on life, death, and everything in between. Only 205 pages, this book doesn’t take long to read, but it lingers with you long after you’ve closed the final chapter. Smart dialogue with astute, darkly funny and heartbreaking observations, this is a story about friendship and the joy you can find even in the most tragic of circumstances.

I put off reading this for quite a while as I have a friend who is going through cancer and I wasn’t in the place for it. Whilst it doesn’t hold back, I found the humour and characters buoying me through. I don’t often emphasise trigger warnings but if you do have someone important in your life going through cancer or any other serious/ terminal illness then I’d wait until you know things are improving before picking this one up.

And with that disclaimer, let’s get into it!

The Story

Set in New York and surrounds, the story centers on Ash and Edi, two women who’ve been best friends for over 40 years. Their friendship has endured through every major life event—school, love, heartbreak, marriage, divorce, children, careers. The plot begins with a heavy premise: Edi’s cancer is terminal, and she moves into a hospice near Ash’s home to live out her final days. There’s no surprising twist or major plot arc—you know from the start that this is a story about Edi’s final moments and how Ash’s life suddenly shifts to revolve around supporting her best friend through her last weeks.

Despite the grim setup, there’s a lot of humor in this book. It has been compared to Nora Ephron’s witty, sharp style, and I’d have to agree. The chapters are short, which keeps the pace moving quickly, and you get to know not only Edi and Ash but also the hospice staff, Ash’s children, and her ex-husband Honey (yes, that’s his name- honestly authors and their totally RANDOM naming practices). You can feel the love and history between all the characters, especially Ash and Edi, whose bond is the heart of the novel.

I was drawn to the friendship between the two women, a relationship that felt aspirational (and if I’m being cynical, a little unrealistic). My friends and I were talking recently about how, as adults, many of our closest friendships are relatively new, given that we live far from where we grew up. We’ve known each other for five or six years—and without that deep reservoir of shared memories from childhood so it’s hard to relate to what Edi and Ash have. Their friendship is the kind you don’t just stumble upon anymore: it’s rooted in years of knowing each other before they fully knew themselves. It’s that kind of “part of the furniture” bond that I kept picturing when thinking of my childhood friend. Despite being separated by geography and time, she and I have weathered every major milestone together. But we live far apart from each other and although we chat regularly, we don’t have that day to day closeness that comes from being physically present. I don’t know her work colleagues or where she gets her favourite coffee from. Her life feels conceptual for me and I’m sure mine is the same for her.

This got me thinking about how disposable friendships can feel now. They often don’t have the same longevity or depth as they might have in the past. I’m a bit nostalgic for this connection in an age where many things seem temporary and replaceable, much like everything else in life—furniture, phones, even relationships being reduced to social medial likes. The core of this story is how they’ve remained each other’s anchors amidst all the changes and upheavals- even the husbands play a secondary role in their lives. I love this idea of female friendships and the support it provides.

Sorry, that was a wild tangent- forgive my digression, someone needs to instill a word count on this platform to curtail me! :-)

But back the book.. it isn’t only a story about friendship. It’s also about growing up and this is something Edi’s illness is forcing Ash to do. Ash desperately needs take charge of her life. She’s stuck in a job she hates, ghostwriting for others instead of following her own passion, and Edi calls her out on it. “You’re wasting your time,” she says at one point, urging Ash to write her own book and stop settling for work that pays the bills but drains her soul. Ash is also floundering in her personal life, sleeping around—whether with Edi’s brother, her doctor, her daughter’s gym teacher, or even trying to reconnect with her ex-husband (which is what she truly wants). She’s an hot mess which is something we can all relate to.

It’s clear that Ash is using these fleeting encounters as distraction and way to cope with the grief of losing Edi, but it’s also part of her avoiding taking control of her life. By the end of the book, Ash begins to understand that life will unfold regardless of her actions, but she has the power to shape it if she’s willing to be brave enough. It’s a subtle message that goes hand in hand with the main affirmation to appreciate life before it’s too late.

Writing Style

Written from Ash’s perspective, Newman’s writing is witty, sharp, and dry, especially in how Ash narrates the story. The humor might take a bit of time to pick up—it took me around 60 pages to fully fall into the rhythm of the dialogue and tone—but once I did, I found it refreshing. There’s a lot of back-and-forth between past and present, which gives a fuller picture of who Ash and Edi are as individuals and friends.

It’s also not a verbose or overly descriptive book, which is part of its charm. It’s a great mix of dialogue and internal character musings which also reminded me a little of Sorrow & Bliss by Meg Mason.

The Good Bits

There’s a lot to love about this book. The pacing is great, with short chapters that pull you through the story. The friendship between Ash and Edi is beautifully drawn—it’s rare to see female friendships explored so deeply. I also loved the interactions between Ash and her teenage daughters. While the dynamic might feel unrealistic at times (I don’t know many mothers who can joke with their teenagers about sex so openly), it was fun to read and added some levity to an otherwise heavy topic. The portrayal of the hospice is surprisingly warm—it’s a place of death, yes, but also one of love, care, and fun.

I also enjoyed the relationship between Ash and her ex husband Honey. Despite their separation, he’s a significant part of Ash’s life, and their relationship is complex and layered. There’s one line in particular that stayed with me and gives you a flavour of the writing- when Ash tells Honey she wanted him to be “crazy” about her, he responds, “You want that, I know, but you also want the space to think and work, freedom, you want to rest sometimes. You’d hate me if I tried to contain you… I love you, but you want impossible things.”

I’ve paraphrased slightly but you get the gist- It’s a beautiful, bittersweet reflection on love and relationships (again very Sorrow & Bliss- esque!)

Any Negatives?

If I had to critique something, it would be that the book might be a difficult read for anyone currently going through or connected to someone with terminal illness, especially cancer. While the book has a lot of humor and warmth, it doesn’t shy away from the realities of death and physical deterioration, which can be tough to read.

The first 60 pages were also a bit disorienting—it throws you straight into the story, and it took me a while to fully grasp the dynamics between the characters. Perhaps because it’s set in New York with a lot of US references, there were a few bits of dialogue that I didn’t fully “get”. Because of that, I think I likely missed some context to the exchanges. For this reason I’ve dropped one star because I did have to persevere a tiny bit before I felt the natural flow.

In Summary

This is a poignant, heartfelt novel that beautifully captures the complexities of long-lasting friendship, the pain of losing someone you love, and the small moments of joy that make life meaningful. It’s not a light read, but it is a fulfilling one. With humour and heart, Catherine Newman delivers a story that reminds us to hold onto joy even in the darkest of times, and to cherish the people who matter most.

It’s an excellent book club pick– even if I do say so myself and  will prompt a lot of conversation. Hopefully those that finish it will feel grateful for their life with an acknowledgement of uncertain but beautiful it can be.

I’m pretty certain that it will be picked up for a film adaptation soon. I keep picturing Rebecca Hall as Ash, Michelle Williams as Edi and Jeffrey Dean as Honey. Casting characters in books is one of my favourite past times, I’m keen to hear what others think!

L

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